paying attention? nope.

i haven't been paying attention in a couple of my classes lately.
maybe it's because it's the end of the year.
maybe it's because the lectures are boring?
maybe it's because i'd just rather tune them out.
it is getting close to the end of the year... just another week and this chapter of my collegiate career will be closed. i can't wait.
instead of paying attention, i've been randomly writing about what the professor has been talking about. here's some random writings from the past monday and wednesday:
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the end of faith

the end of faith
can you see it?
this paradox you call a life
you can hold your head above
for only so long
the manipulation of faith
you accept it, so blind
this paradox you call your life
can you raise your hand
higher and higher and higher
to prove your worth
back it up
show your face
bow your head
lower and lower and lower
just to prove you're real
why can't you back it up
and show your face?
it's the end of faith
can you see it?
this paradox you call your life
leave this room you call "salvation"
see for yourself
look it up, show your face
the absence of faith
is what you will find
you judge yourself for once
what do you believe?
you can hold your head above
for only so long
can you see it?
you accept it, so blind
raise your so-called faith
higher and higher and higher
into the light
reveal the flaws
spot the mistakes
you accepted, so blind
come back down
lower and lower and lower
realize this paradox
you call your life

--------------------------------
step up

step up.
you're failing again
it's obvious this time
your job isn't worth it
you're failing in your success
you hear the cries
but nothing happens
you tell your lies
and give your excuses
step up.
quit being such a coward
can't you see what's wrong?
the child stands in the dark
alone and broken.
you were a child once
those days of youth are gone
or have you forgot?
grown up and work
has blackened that eye again
you're blind, and it's obvious
the time has come
and you're oblivious
step up.
no more excuses.
your kids need you
they need someone to love them
won't find it at school
won't find it at home.
it's time for you to step up.
take courage.
be a DAD.
the one you wish you had
the father you're supposed to be.
your job isn't worth losing your kids.
love them
play with them
teach them
be a dad, not just a man
it's up to you
and it's time to step up.

------------------------
beautiful relationship
written for Holly

if i may, i remiss
let the rain hit my face
take me back to that kiss
the time i can't replace

beautiful relationship
we will walk hand in hand
beautiful relationship
together we will stand

if i may, i reflect
back to a dusty hill
now's the time i select
marry me, if you will

beautiful relationship
we will live side by side
beautiful relationship
together we will fight

we are here, close to vow
very soon you'll be my wife
let's get it over right now
and get on with our life

beautiful relationship
for better for worse
beautiful relationship
we will walk hand in hand
beautiful relationship
we will live side by side
beautiful relationship
together with my love.

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why?
also written for Holly

what are you doing?
you're slowly draining my life
why would you do this?
it hurts so much
my eyes rain on my face
the pain is unbelievable
why would you do this?
maybe i don't want it
this is just too much
i cannot enjoy it at all
but i realize that it is necessary
you cannot help it
you had to do it
it will help you breath
help you laugh
help you live

you............SNATCH my nitties
you............TWIST my nips
you............SMILE with joy
you............LAUGH at me
my pain is your gain.
but i don't like it!

(in order to understand this, Holly like to randomly give me titty twisters... and her devices for my torture, or her hands are called the "nitty snatchers"... and it's painful)

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alright, that's all for now. let me know what you think of these random barfs that i didn't edit or think through what i was writing... until next time.